WHY IT IS SO HARD TO TALK ABOUT SEXUAL HEALTH AND STDS: NOT BEING PREPARED
Many people have their own guidelines about when they will become sexually active. Some want to be sexually active only when they are in a committed, mutually monogamous relationship, or when they are married. Others may decide they want their partners to be tested for STDs before they become sexually active. All of these guidelines are reasonable, and yet it is still a good idea to think about what kind of birth control and STD prevention method you will want to use if you do become sexually active, just in case this happens before you thought it would.
Even if you don’t expect to have sex with a new partner for a long time, it makes sense to be prepared and to talk with your partner about safe sex before you become sexually active. Whether you are a man or a woman, it’s a good idea to have condoms available, in case you want to have sex. (A woman should not always assume that her male partner will bring a condom.) Condoms, if used consistently and correctly, are one of the best ways to avoid becoming infected with STDs. Learning how to use a condom is also important, because it is well known that most condom failures result from incorrect use, not defects, and that the risk of a condom breaking or coming off is higher if one has little experience using it. Men can practice putting condoms on before becoming sexually active, and women can practice putting them on a male partner, possibly by using a banana or a cucumber. Other barrier methods are available for couples.
Another way to be prepared is for both of you to be tested for all sexually transmitted infections before you become sexually active. Make sure it has been long enough for each of you since your last sexual contact with other partners, or other potential sources of infection, for the test results to be accurate. And make sure that you have only each other as partners. If you can feel fairly sure that both of you are uninfected, and if you remain mutually monogamous, then from the standpoint of STDs you are in good shape. If you find out that one of you has a treatable STD, then treatment can be started and transmission of the infection avoided. If you find out that one of you has a chronic STD, knowing this beforehand is better than finding out later in the relationship. Even if you have both been tested, if you cannot be sure that your partner does not have other sexual partners, then continuing to use barrier methods makes very good sense. Heterosexual couples who opt to not use condoms for preventing STD transmission may still want to consider the use of condoms (or another option) for birth control.
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